Fancy Falls TV - Ad Break 2

It's buy time! A heartbreaking charity, a swimming innovation and a new health craze sweeping the local council area.

Wordsmiths Trust

Would you consider a charitable donation to a cause the world often forgets?

Harold had a favourite pair of shoes. He wore them every day for thirty four years. One drizzly November afternoon, while out walking in his local park to visit his preferred bush, his right sole snagged on a protruding boulder and flapped open like the bill of the ducks he always avoided. He stepped from happiness to hell. His wife Madge suggested he get it fixed, but he thought she’d suggested wearing it with another non-matching shoe.

Re-pair vs Repair

They divorced the next day.

Jonathan told his struggling daughter to practice her drum solo at least twice, but instead she just took the consequences.

Re-percussions vs Repercussions

She never played the drums again.

Martha had lost a present she thought she’d posted for Christmas so she tried again, but was worried her father-in-law Dave might hold it against her.

Re-sent vs Resent.

Dave ended up with two Dancing Santas.

Charlie had a soup that he needed to remove a second load of lumpy vegetables from, but his distraught wife Tilly thought he had created a sentient and violent meal monster that needed to be prevented from escaping.

Re-strain vs Restrain.

Charlie choked a little on a particularly aggressive lump of swede.

Tilly was sectioned, but that might have happened anyway.

This Christmas, give the gift of correctly placed hyphens to the world. For only £20 a day or more, you could pay us to add hyphens everywhere they need to go and in many places they don’t.

Give the world a hyphen.

Send cash, or your credit card and PIN, to

The Wordsmiths Trust, Unit E, Fancy Falls Business Park, FF0 0FF

MyxUp

At MyxUp, we like to mix up the big with the small, the useful with the pointless, the old with the new - like a quill on a touchscreen (patent pending).

Did you know there’s an inexpensive but premium natural material used by humans for over 5,000 years? Stop it, we hear you say! And you’d be right!

This incredible material is perfect for anyone trying to brave the most fluid and moist of the natural elements. Have you ever been in water? It’s terrifying!

But not anymore.

Welcome to TreeTrunks. Swimming shorts made ENTIRELY of cork.

It’s designed to be slightly too thick so you can feel the premium quality, and have a marginally improved chance of it actually floating with a person in it.

It is untotally safe!

TreeTrunks from MyxUp - get wood in the swimming pool.

Align - A New Way to Eat

Are you tired of the same old meals, week in week out?

You’ve all ordered food with the usual suspects - JustNosh, Deliverarium, GrubHole.

But did you know you can also order food. It’s the difference between

a sandwich

and

bread, bread, cheese

We like to order food. Alphabetically.

Day 1

• Don’t rush the first meal of the day - instead… breakslow.

  • Apple, sliced and fanned out on a square plate.

  • Almonds. Savour them one at a time until your mouth is too dry.

  • Another apple. Cubed or something?

• Lunch

  • Avocado. We recommend removing the skin.

  • Anchovies. Yup.

  • Another apple. However you want this time.

• Dinner

  • Asparagus and Artichoke Arancini. Wow.

  • Amaretto. Full mug.

  • Apricots. That’ll go.

Day 2 will then flow naturally from this.

Leave your meal planning to us and we’ll work out the rest. Eventually.

Align - It’s probably not worse than SlimFast.